This is my third year going to Pride and I was really excited that my friends and I were going to represent each colour of the rainbow. Surprisingly, I chose purple!
Long time ago, when I was a wee child, I used to despise this colour because of my traumatizing experience meeting Grimace, one of Mcdonald’s old purple mascot. However, ever since my best friend Kristianne introduced me to BTS (K-pop group), purple represents something more meaningful to me now. ? Kim Taehyung, one of BTS’ member, came up with a cute expression, “I purple you”. “Purple is the last color of the rainbow colors so it means I will trust, support and love you for a long time.”
Hence, I bought a plain purple shirt from Michael’s and hand painted the front and back with acrylic paints! The front is a popular Korean hand symbol that represents love and the back represents my genderfluid side. “I’m not a He. I’m not a She. I’m just ME.?”
Define Gender-fluid
“Gender fluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities. Their gender can also vary at random or vary in response to different circumstances. Gender fluid people may also identify as multigender, non-binary and/or transgender. Genderfluid people may feel more comfortable using gender neutral pronouns and have a androgynous gender expression.” – Gender Wiki
My Gender-fluid Experience
When I get confronted as to what being gender-fluid really means, I find it challenging to explain. People under this gender-fluid umbrella varies and our perspective on what it is will be different from each other. All I know, it’s an internal struggle. Based on my experience, as I was growing up, I wasn’t comfortable being identified female or male. Sometimes I’d feel body dysmorphia because depending on what gender I feel inside, I was not representing it outside. The switch from feeling more masculine versus feminine, and vice versa, changes drastically. I wonder if gender-fluid people encounter this kind of problem?
My brother once asked me, “Heather, why do you have to label yourself as “GENDER-FLUID”? Why can’t you just be you?” That’s true. I don’t have to announce to the entire world what I am. However, I’ve been questioning myself for so many confusing years. Now that I’ve finally found out the answer, putting myself into that category gives me a sense of belonging, understanding and security. I know what I am and I can find like-minded people around the world.
Happy Pride! Party Hard!
Anyway, attending Pride was super exciting! Watching people merrily expressing themselves made me quite emotional! ? The LOVE AND SUPPORT from this community is just AWESOME. I hope you all had an amazing PRIDE this year as well.
Looking forward to the next one! Cheers!
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